Thursday, January 26, 2012

Tonight I met with one of my professors who has a framed picture of herself and Condoleeza Rice in her office.  And on that note..Condoleeza Rice, who is also an alum of my school, is visiting for two weeks in April!  I mentioned my interest and excitement to my professor, and she referred to the photo, saying, "Oh yes, just two girls hanging out."  She laughed and went on to talk about how Condi really plays it close to the chest. 

I don't intend to write about political things on this blog, but I do have to say that I am at least very interested in Condoleeza Rice.  I respect her mostly because she understands diplomacy and can tap into conflict resolution language when necessary.  She also seems to have an ability to connect with certain people (and really not with others) across cultures.  And she understand the purpose of justifying her policy decisions in terms of theory and real constraints.

So I am very excited that she's going to be here, but I'm still unsure of what my role will be in that situation.  She's supposed to visit classes and give talks and interact with students and whatnot, but I'm not sure what I would really say to her if I accidentally ran into her in the stairwell.  Because sometimes I'm more interested in her because of her uncanny ability to function at a high-level: i.e., wake up at 5 in the morning to exercise, play grand piano with Yo-Yo Ma, and talk back to Dick Cheney.  And that just makes me want to say: how do you do it?  Although, I'm also interested in her ability to function in situations of crisis, which is something that fascinates me.  As someone easily affected by stress, I find that I function remarkably well in high pressure.  In fact, I love it.  It brings out something very decisive in me that I don't often find.

But, yes, Condi's coming, and I'm, er, excited. 

Saturday, January 14, 2012

what?

I feel like a lot of important things/thoughts have been happening, and I can't keep up with them, although I suppose I always feel that way.  On the one hand, I do so many things every day that it's hard to remember how everything felt or what happened sometimes.  Like just leaving my house and dodging icy, wet patches on the road--so instead I end up thinking about this time my co-worker Steve showed me to how to run barefoot on the UNC football field last year.  Very random.

But I've also been struggling with a lot of ideas about my entire career path.  Not that I imagine changing it, but, for example--I've just begun an internship with an organization called Project Education Sudan where I will be working with a team to develop a leadership program for girls at an all girls' school in the Jonglei State in South Sudan, which has been experiencing a dramatic upsurge in violence.  I'm working on the "student government/conflict resolution" component of the program, and it just seems so very ridiculous sometimes to plan a program for girls who are very far away from me, not only in terms of distance but probably culturally as well.  I mentioned this to one of my team members, Noelle, today, and she said something to the effect of, "Well, kids are kids everywhere." 

Anyway, I have a problem accepting statements like that and just moving on.  I'm co-facilitating a workshop on Cultural Competency for a conference in a few weeks, and the basic point is, "It's more complicated than that."

Beyond that, I am continuing with my work study job at Manual High School "leading" undergrads as they coach high school students through a service-learning curriculum.  On Friday, we discussed the Martin Luther King "marade," (a march/parade in Denver on MLK day, and the largest in the country) and a lot of students dropped comments like, "People will be racist for another 100 years probably" and "They will always have stereotypes of us."  So what do you do with that?  My team had a naturally academic response, thinking that we could take such comments and help the students to process them and make them more concrete and then realize how they could make change in their communities...somehow.  But thinking critically about it for very long made me feel like having a discussion about racism and stereotypes will just make it more apparent how correct they are.  Yet, at the same time, I know how incorrect they are, and I know, emotionally, to focus on that idealistic incorrectness, but...how do you approach a group of high school students who "get it" with issues such as racism and stereotyping positively?

Then, when my Swahili language partner, who is from Kenya, asked me why I wanted to learn Swahili, I felt so simple when I explained to her that, probably like every other American she had met, I wanted to work with an NGO in eastern/sub-Saharan Africa.  It seemed so unfair to have to give such a brief answer to this woman.  I wanted to talk about how it's weird for Teach for America volunteers to be all over Mississippi, even though it's no where comparable to African countries, but it must feel strange for people, and Americans specifically, to constantly want to help your country and its neighbors.  I know that's not the perspective I bring to the table but it's hard to convey such nuance in an introduction.  Anyway, this morning Isabella, my language partner, posted a link to our Swahili blog to an article about Africa's images, in response to some of our introductions about wanting to work in Africa.  I hope that I can talk to her about the article, at least.  I want to just say, "I get it," but at the same time, I know I don't and can't.

Last night, at a poetry slam event called Cafe Cultura (which aims to promote healing for indigenous peoples through self-expression, etc.), a woman from Indonesia read a poem that she said was inspired by "explaining immigration policy to 300 white people at an Occupy Denver event."  And I just thought...really??  Say it differently. 

On another sort of note, I facilitated a brief training on conflict resolution for my undergraduate peers this week.  It was very well received--I had the students work through a conflict scenario and they had very engaged but different responses.  I wanted to facilitate a discussion about their reactions, but I didn't have time.  Anyway, it was a very good experience.

Ah, I feel so busy--school, Manual, Sudan, Swahili, internships, French, my future, peace--but the thought of writing reminds me of a large empty wooden bowl that I can fill up and then empty.  I will work on expressing that more eloquently.  Eloquent is often all I want to be.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

afraid to leave the projects

I've been thinking about reviving this business, since I let it drift off.  There are certain seasons which might writing more difficult, I think, like summer.  It might be the opposite of intuition but that weather always makes me want to keep more to myself. 

I also take words very seriously and often approach writing anything down as if it's being written in cement or stone.  And it always comes out with that slant since I can't seem to write it totally truthfully.  I was looking at my friend's tumblr and thought that it was really nicely designed and allowed for that kind of inability to ever really write things.  But I don't want to rush into getting one since it might be like that time I had two jobs and got a third one and then had to quit it after one week. 

I kind of wish a lot of people had blogs though because then it would make it feel less weird.  It is weird, though, when you're 20-something and live in somewhere-land and don't always have people to tell these things to over coffee.  Still, it reminds me that even when you're speaking to someone, you sometimes want to feel as if no one is paying any attention, so that you can be more honest. 

I have been listening to some of the tracks from Paul Simon's album/play Songs from the Capeman and I take it in very earnestly.  He tells the story of something like a gang member sentenced to death for the murder of two teenagers in Spanish Harlem.  And just because Paul Simon's voice very obviously can't represent a Latino gang member's, the story seems more transmutable.  It's like a reminder that any story has these deep pockets of emotion that will never be communicated.  It's very funny to me to think about pockets like that, unlocked forever. 

So, I'll probably try to start writing in this again, maybe for the sake of my own untransmutable pockets...

Sunday, May 22, 2011

So, I think I feel so daunted by my pictures that I have been shying away from writing shorter, less detailed posts.  Probably at some point I'll explain the varying climates I photographed and why I was there in detail, but for now I'll just keep it simple.  And for now, I can at least explain that my recent hiking stint began, in March I believe, by waking up at 4:00 in the morning to leave Greeley at 4:30 (I wasn't the driver) to get to the trailhead by 6:30.  It's remarkable how much adrenaline can fuel you, even if you're going on a ~12 mile hike in the snow and precarious conditions.  My friend Beth and I ended up scaling the side of a rather steep incline of packed in snow to avoid a narrow, icy road on our attempt to hike Mt. Evans, a 14-er about an hour west of Denver.  We weren't able to actually hike it since the trail was so snowy, but we hiked a while up the road, which was closed, and did see some sheep (?) and lovely views. 

Since my roommate has been out of town, I've been mowing the lawn, and I think that I'm getting the hang of it.  Today was my third time with it, and I admired my work afterwards.  I also bought some arch supports at the running store today, which feel really strange in my shoe.  Hopefully they'll solve some of the problems I've been having, but the store's owner perplexed me more by suggesting that my problems aren't structural, but dietetic. Um...his advice was to go to a masseuse named Maria and get some bloodwork done.  I might do 1/3 of that, but first I'll just try some workouts that don't require my feet to make contact with the ground.  After Doug (the store's owner) left, another person working in the store told me that Maria was kind of scary and Doug a little crazy (he suggested that the other staff bike 45 miles twice a day to substitue for running 15 miles), and then we had a much less terrifying conversation about my injuries.  Then I got some books about running and cross-training at the library.

The week before last I went to a conference for professionals who work with youth through workforce development centers throughout Colorado - the conference was in Colorado Springs, home to Pikes Peak and apparently also the president's secret hide out (NORAD).  That's serious stuff.  The conference was great - I went to some great sessions on job readiness training for youth and government use of social media and I got to visit the Mile High youth corps' office for a group conference call (my program has once every 2 months) we had on Wednesday.  I had a good time with my coworkers - we spent quality time with staff from (hip, elite, organic) Boulder County, which, according to stereotype, is the exact opposite of (rural, agricultural, meat producing, flat) Weld County.  I might have danced.

So, those are a few things...I've been doing interviews with my supervisor/another coworker for our summer programs, which is very interesting to say the least.  I'm trying to replace my running and walking with something else substantial (swimming, biking, elliptical-ing) while I let my things (illiotibial band, shins) heal.  And I'm going to NOLA/BR in a week...so I'll see some of you soon!



The Broadmoor in Colorado Springs

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Good intentions

Wow -- so I do intend to still update this blog.  I've just  been rather "active" lately...and now I should try to go to bed ASAP, but I will include a few pictures.  These should indicate my good intentions to explain things soon...

Tomorrow I'm going to Colorado Springs (in the area of Pikes Peak) for a conference, which will be exciting.  But I'm mentally and physically very tired, so it will be a challenge.  We have our last cooking class tomorrow, so I need to put a lot of energy into that and then somehow getting on the road.  Wish me luck!





(The common denominator)


Sunday, March 20, 2011

So, I am mentally gearing up to run in Boulder this Sunday.  I decided to downgrade from a half marathon to 10 mile for my first race, which I think was a good decision.  As of Friday, I've had pretty dreadful shin splints, which I hope will subside before Sunday.  After that, I am going to return to biking to work and start with swim lessons as well to give my legs some rest.

I have a difficult time condensing the past few weeks and pulling out the memorable bits.  But I'll try to start somewhere.  On Friday, the VISTA team leader who works with the Colorado Youth Corps Association conducted a site visit with me and my supervisor.  She basically went through a list of dramatic and non-dramatic questions, including, "Who do you feel is benefitting from Sarah's year of service?"  I enjoyed it, actually, although I sometimes don't do well on the spot.  But it was a good chance to hear my supervisor say nice things about me without having to ask. 

I also helped to build a runway - wow!  I don't think I contributed much to this process, but I did use a power drill several times and measured pieces of wood.  The runway was for a fashion show fundraiser for an organization some of my friends volunteer for in Denver.  We built the ramp in the organization's founder's garage in Denver.  She had adorable five year old twins who really wanted to be everyone's best friend and help tighten bolts. 

Last Friday, I invited a lady to do a workshop with our TIGHT corps members on watercolor painting.  I was skeptical about how this would turn out, but it was remarkably successful.  The seven boys who did the workshop were genuinely engaged and respectful.  One of them painted a profile of a guy with an Afro who had a rainbow shooting out of his hair and announced at the end of the class that he was going to save up his money to buy painting supplies. 

I have been very eager to eat and read about eating lately.  This theme ties into a few actual events -- my roommate and two of her friends and I went to Denver last Friday for something called restaurant week where fancy restaurants offer a 3-4 course meal for a not terribly high cost.  We ate at a rather trendy restaurant called Cru with all of the city folk.  I had butternut squash ravioli, roasted pepper chicken with truffles and mashed potatoes, and molten chocolate lava cake.  Delicious...but I feel that I've only been in Denver's most mainstream areas.  I had that feeling again when we walked around downtown after eating, and I feel a need to explore further and more seriously.

Also related to food -- I'm planning a six-week cooking class for TIGHT through a national non-profit called Share Our Strength (check them out -- Jeff Bridges is one of their biggest fans).  I've recruited volunteers through the Dietetics program at UNC, and Share Our Strength provides the curriculum and a stipend to buy groceries and whatever else we need to run the program.  The class participants get to take home a bag of groceries to practice cooking with their families, so it's a pretty good deal. 

So those are a few of the more exciting things.  I don't feel I've had much time lately to reflect on anything, and it seems really important.  I have the common sensation I think I've described before of stacking up with thoughts.  Perhaps this long race will help, if my legs improve.  Talking and listening to other people talk and eating s'mores around a bonfire are good as well...

This week seems a bit challenging at the moment -- I'm doing a brief training with the cooking class volunteers tomorrow and then parent teacher conferences with another staff to recruit for one of our summer programs.  And hoping my legs pull through.  So, if you think about it, please send positive thoughts my way.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Yesterday I invited a woman to speak to WCYCC's AmeriCorps crew on financial literacy and goal planning.  The day was already strange, since I'd spent the morning at a presentation on local gangs by a police officer -- the presentation concluded with a slide show featuring local gang members and crimes to the tune of "Youth of the Nation" (I wonder if he was trying to make a point.).  Needless to say, I felt a bit nerve-y after the presentation and went with one of my co-workers to meet a lady who works with the Central Colorado Water Conservation District.  I tripped getting into the truck and was generally absent-minded throughout our meeting, although it turned out to be successful anyway.

Afterwards, we drove back to the office, and I walked into our "youth room," where the lady was already setting up and all of the corps members (including new members we hired last week) were there.  That wasn't ideal, but everything seemed mostly under control.  But really, with that group, nothing is "under control," and it turned out to be a very "interesting" presentation.  It started, harmlessly enough, with one member insisting that he spends his extra cash on beer (he seemed to really want the presenter to know how much he loved beer), and then other members offering their financial advice -- have a Mexican lady watch your kids because it's cheaper; make your car payments over rent because if you're kicked out at least you'll have somewhere to sleep; don't buy extra things like gum.  When asked for examples of emergency financial situations, one corps member offered, sincerely: "You get a girl pregnant."  Fortunately, the presenter was very adaptable, took these situations seriously, and didn't make any assumptions. She was able to respond to them and in the end called them a "very interactive group."

Following the presentation, I helped to set up for the TIGHT corps graduation.  This turned out to be fascinating as well.  The four graduating corps members made speeches, and there was a funny slideshow.  Memorable experiences with that group are difficult, since the pictures included former members who are now in juvenile detention or were kicked out of the program, but also corps members climbing on the Pawnee Buttes and holding frogs.  One girl talked about how her time with TIGHT hadn't been very enjoyable, and that she had probably made a lot of people mad, but that she had learned and changed from her experiences.  It was remarkably sincere, and people were shifting weirdly, trying to not cry.  There was cake and a lot of joking around about the tight budget I live on.  Ha ha ha...

Earlier this week I went to Denver to do mock interviews at a high school for a career class as part of Goodwill's Youth Services program.  It was pretty fun -- the high school was downtown and old and large.  I interviewed three students one-on-one in the library and gave them interview tips afterward -- "Don't say 'um, whatever,' be more specific..."  My idea is that I can adapt some of the practices used by Goodwill's program to incorporate into WCYCC's programs.

I'm starting to feel stacked up with thoughts and experiences.  I started volunteering with an adult literacy program, and it's slightly overwhelming.  Now that I've been here for some time and understand the community better and its issues, the problems faced by these particular people weren't shocking, but still sad.  It's a group of mothers who are trying to learn English in order to navigate the school system -- check their kids' grades and attendance, know who to talk to if they have a problem.  But at the same time, they're faced with the larger issue of knowing whether their kid is involved in a gang.  Next week a presenter (possibly the same man I saw speak on Friday) is coming to speak to them about local gangs, so that will be interesting.

I haven't ventured out of the area much lately except for work reasons, but I probably will next week once I have some other things under control.  Some friends are also interested in snowshoeing, which is promising, since I don't want to be stuck under an avalanche by myself...

I'd welcome any suggestions on cheap meals -- Lately, I've turned often to potatoes with broccoli and cheese as well as black beans and corn bread.  Pasta is always good.  Please let me know your thoughts...